Trusting God When Plans Take a Turn
(A Baby Delivery Story)
Some
of us parents probably had ideas about how our baby’s birth would play out,
especially moms. Or you might be looking forward to that day when you hold your
firstborn in your arms, ready for a perfect entrance into the world.
I’m honored to introduce you to Laura, a friend who had her own thoughts on her first birthing experience. Maybe it’s much like yours, or maybe it’s quite different. Either way, things didn’t go as planned…
Here is an interview with Laura
about her delivery story with her husband Stephen (not me).
Hi Laura. Thank you for doing this
interview with me and sharing your story on my blog. This is truly a pleasure
for me and I’m excited to hear your story. Let’s first set the stage. Tell us
about your birthing plans and how your pregnancy went before your precious baby
came.
Just before our 4th wedding anniversary in
spring 2024, Stephen and I learned we were expecting our first baby, due in
December, and we were overjoyed—praise God! My pregnancy was such a blessing:
no morning sickness, no back pain, no trouble sleeping. I just needed frequent
bathroom breaks and snacks every 2–3 hours to avoid getting lightheaded.
Truthfully, I loved having a baby bump and was touched by how thoughtful
everyone was, always checking if I was comfortable. We chose to give birth at
home instead of a hospital, and we looked forward to each prenatal visit with
our midwife, Grace.
So, pregnancy went well and as planned. That’s great. Before we get into the details, I have to ask: Boy or girl!?
Boy! Our sweet Ember, born in December of
2024. He’s our little miracle! He is now 17 months old. He walks, babbles, and
loves to throw balls of all sizes. We just adore him!
Yay! Congrats on birthing an active baby boy!
So, Laura. Why did you choose to
have a home birth?
Even before pregnancy, Stephen and I were
drawn to the idea of a home birth. Welcoming our baby in the cozy, familiar
space of our home felt safe and right for us. We wanted to avoid the pressure
of medical interventions since we believed my body was created to give birth
and that it is a completely natural process. I fully respect any mom who feels
more secure in a hospital, but I was excited to labor in a peaceful environment
with our experienced midwife who’s delivered over 300 babies. I believe God designed
birth to happen best in whatever environment a mother feels most at ease, and
for me, that was at home.
And how about your pregnancy? How
did your pregnancy affect everyday life for you and Stephen?
Pregnancy made me super intentional about what
I ate, knowing every bite was nourishing our little guy. It also brought
Stephen and me closer as we dreamed about the life we wanted for our son. We
knew the greatest gift we could give him was a strong, healthy marriage, so we
focused on building a foundation of love, commitment, forgiveness, respect, and
just enjoying each other’s company.
***
click to tweet ***
“We
knew the greatest gift we could give him
was a strong, healthy marriage,
so we focused on building a foundation of love.”
*****
That’s a wonderfully, God-honoring approach to parenting and a great way to spend your pregnancy. I love it.
What were your favorite and least
favorite parts of pregnancy?
Favorites? Not needing to suck my belly in and
eating more!! Least favorite? The extra bathroom trips and not being able to
eat raw fish.
You've touched on this a bit, but
please share a little more about how your pregnancy and looking forward to your
newest family member affected your faith?
Carrying our baby forced me to trust the Lord
more. I remember telling Stephen I wished it were possible to peek through a
window into my belly to make sure my baby was healthy (and cute). During the
third trimester, the baby was measuring very small—in the 13th percentile—and
it was starting to concern our midwife. If he dropped below the 10th
percentile, it could mean early induction. Praise God, this never ended up
being an issue, and our baby was born healthy in the 62nd percentile after all!
Praise God for blessing your family with a healthy boy. đŸ™‚
Up until delivery, what surprised
you most about carrying your baby for 9 months?
I think I was most surprised by my low level
of stress throughout the entire pregnancy. Even though everything was going
fine, I was nervous the baby would for some reason not be born healthy.
All in all, your pregnancy was
pretty normal, I’d say. Even your labor was, more or less, normal, if I may use
that label. But your delivery – that’s another story! Will you tell us how
things went sideways during your delivery?
I told Stephen, “I think I had my first
contraction!,” around 6 p.m. right before our friends were supposed to arrive
for dinner on a Thursday. By 10 p.m., the contractions got stronger—to the
point where I had to sit, pause, and take deep breaths with each one. They
ramped up overnight, coming every 3–4 minutes by 2 a.m. We let our birth team
know (two midwives, Grace and Alana, and our doula, Sarah), and they made plans
to come over. My go-to coping method was horse-lips breathing, which helped me
stay loose and not tense. By 7 a.m. on Friday, I got into the birth tub, and at
8 a.m., I started pushing. Our little, precious baby was born at 10:15 a.m.
after 2.5 hours of pushing—such a surreal moment! He weighed 7 lb. 15 oz. I
held him in my arms in disbelief that it was all over. At least, I thought it
was all over.
I had always heard that delivering the
placenta was the easy part, so I didn’t even think much about it. Boy, was I
wrong. The part that was supposed to be the easiest became the nightmare.
Usually, a mother starts having a second wave of contractions within 30 minutes
to release the placenta. Thirty minutes went by—no contractions, no placenta.
Grace tried everything: Pitocin, tinctures, even tugging the cord while
pressing my womb. By 11:15 a.m., they decided I needed to go to the hospital.
It was a shock—I thought the hard part was over! A fireman walked into our
bedroom, and suddenly I was on a stretcher, leaving my one-hour-old baby
behind. That was the moment things went totally off script.
***
click to tweet ***
“A
fireman walked into our bedroom,
and suddenly I was on a stretcher,
leaving my one-hour-old baby behind.”
*****
I understand a retained placenta is
quite rare. If you’re comfortable doing so, will you share the variety of fears
you and Stephen experienced when you were rushed to the hospital to get your
placenta removed?
It was terrifying. I’d never heard of a
retained placenta, so I was blindsided. My biggest fear was leaving Ember—he
was only an hour old, and I didn’t want to be apart from him. I just wanted to
lie in my bed and hold my sweet precious baby, not be lying on a stretcher in a
firetruck. I was grateful that one of the midwives, Alana, stayed back with
Stephen. Stephen told me afterward that his deepest fear—losing me or Ember in
childbirth—felt so real in that moment. He was torn between caring for Ember and
worrying about me, but his trust in God held him steady. We both felt helpless,
but we clung to the Lord’s protection.
I imagine, in a situation that
requires quick decisions and emergency response, you didn’t have time to bow
your heads to pray in a usual manner. But will you share in a nutshell your
individual petitions to God at that time?
It all felt so surreal and happened so fast.
If I’m being honest, I don’t remember what I prayed or how I prayed, but I
trusted that the Lord would keep us all safe. Stephen was praying hard and
reaching out to many others to pray for us. I know the Lord heard and answered
those prayers.
How did things go at the hospital?
What was the process of removing the placenta like? Most women don’t need to
have this procedure.
The hospital was intense. At 12:30 p.m., they
did a manual placenta removal, which was honestly worse than childbirth. The
doctor used her hand and a tool to scrape my uterus—three times. Even with
painkillers, it was excruciating; I was howling. I lost 1600 mL of blood—three
times the usual amount for childbirth. My favorite thing to tell people is that
the doctor said this amount of blood loss was enough to kill a grown man, but
pregnant women have twice the blood volume, so we can handle that intense loss.
I got a saline IV, but thankfully no transfusion was needed. It was quick but
brutal, and I was so relieved when it was over. Grace and Sarah were there,
which helped me feel less alone. I squeezed their hands the whole time.
What an ordeal you had to endure,
Laura. At some point, you were able to relax at the hospital, or recover, I
should say. Can you describe your last several hours at the hospital?
Once the placenta was out, I felt so happy,
relieved, and thankful! It was truly blissful even though I was in rough shape.
Stephen and Ember arrived in my hospital room at 3:30 p.m., and seeing them was
one of the sweetest moments of my life—I cried holding my baby again. Sarah
brought Thai food, and sipping Tom Kha soup with my healthy son in my arms felt
like a gift from God. I stayed until 11:30 a.m. the next day because of the
blood loss.
That night, I barely slept—nurses checked on me every 45 minutes, and I couldn’t stop staring at Ember. Hospital rules said I couldn’t sleep holding him, so I’d fake being awake when nurses came in! My parents met Ember that evening, and Stephen’s parents came the next morning before we went home. Bringing him home the following day was pure joy.
I don't know how you were about to
fake being awake, so we'll just add that to your list of super powers. Looking
back, what were some of the shocking facts about your entire delivery and
post-delivery experience?
Looking back, the biggest shock was the
retained placenta—I’d never even heard of that happening before. Losing 1,600
mL of blood was also intense. I still remember the doctor saying it was “enough
to kill a grown man,” which really stuck with me, and in a strange way I feel
proud that I made it through that.
Another surprising part was how quickly I went
into what I can only describe as “labor land,” where I wasn’t very coherent or
able to respond in full sentences. During the entire 12 hours of labor, I kept
my eyes closed the whole time. When I finally gave birth and opened them, I had
no idea what time it was. I thought it was around 5 a.m., only to find out it
was already past 10 a.m.
If you don’t mind, I’d like to hear
more of your thoughts as you look back. What did you learn about God and your
relationship with Him through your delivery and post-delivery experience, or
what did this entire ordeal help solidify in your faith?
This experience showed me God’s faithfulness
in a whole new way. Even when things went sideways, He was there—through
Stephen’s calm strength, the midwives’ quick decisions, and the doctors’ skill.
I saw how God answers prayers we didn’t even have time to fully form. It
solidified my trust in His sovereignty; even in my fear and pain, He was
holding us. Stephen’s faith, especially, inspired me—he never wavered, even
when his worst fear loomed. It reminded me that God’s plans are bigger than
ours, and His grace carries us through the unexpected. This past year and a
half, my prayer life has grown a lot. I believe if I were to be in this exact
situation again, I would have much more faith in the Lord and lean on Him for
strength.
***
click to tweet ***
“God’s
plans are bigger than ours,
and His grace carries us
through the unexpected."
*****
What would you like to say to women
who are considering carrying their baby for 9 months, men who are hoping to be
dads, and people of faith who are simply your brothers and sisters in Christ?
To moms-to-be: Pregnancy is a beautiful, wild
ride, and the Lord created it all! There’s not much we can do to control
circumstances, but praise be to God that He is the one who is sovereign. Trust
God’s design for birth.
To future dads: Learn about labor and
childbirth so you can best support your wife—she’ll need you more than ever.
To my brothers and sisters in Christ: We all
know that life throws curveballs, but lean in harder to the Lord and He will do
a great work in you!
Thank you for joining me in this
interview, Laura. I’m sure what you have shared will inspire many readers. It
certainly inspires me. God bless you and your family as you raise your son, and
maybe more children in the future!
Pregnancies and deliveries don’t always go as planned. Maybe more often than we hope. Thank God for dear ones who know exactly what we need when we need it. But sometimes the people we need are unavailable. Either way, for Christians who have an ever-deepening relationship with God, with unexpected or unplanned “curveballs,” as Laura put it, we also have hope.
Sometimes the unexpected disrupts our everyday life. Sometimes our comfort is a little less comfortable. Sometimes what has become our mainstay fails to bolster us as it once did. Sometimes we feel helpless. Remember, as Laura and Stephen did, that helplessness can usher us into God’s protective embrace. New chapters in life can also move us to trust our Father in a deeper way. God is faithful amidst difficulty. He is merciful within our stress. He is a surety above our uncertainty, no matter the volume of blood loss. (2 Corinthians 12:9-10, Proverbs 17:3)
So, when we must brave the
unbearable, when we are at odds with our emotions, when we don’t know how to
pray, remember God is wise and will step in with complete understanding and
effectiveness (Romans 8:26, Ephesians 3:20-21). As Laura said, we can “trust in
His sovereignty…even in fear and pain.” God’s plans are bigger than ours and
His grace will carry us through all the difficulties we lay at His feet.
Humble
yourselves, therefore,
under God’s mighty hand,
that he may lift you up in due time.
Cast all your anxiety on him
because he cares for you.
1 Peter 5:6-7
If you want to dialog more about God’s special care for us and how we can rely on Him to carry us through any difficulty, feel free to leave a comment or email me at authordlv@att.net.
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Amen. Children are wonderful gifts from God. :-)
ReplyDelete100%!!! And parents are perfectly designed for the children and can be wonderful gifts to them as well.
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